Russian Winter Funny Jokes; The Way of Russian Survival in Winter

During the wintertime, the cold weather might make you want to complain all the time. You might feel that the low temperature makes it difficult to do most of the things. If the snow is falling during winter, it will block the street and makes you have a hard time to access many places, or even to get out of your house.

Like many people, during winter you will try to do things to warm up your body. If you are inside your house and want to make the inside of your house warm, you can turn on the fireplace. Sit in front of the fireplace while covering your self with the blanket. It is comfortable, right?

Another way to keep yourself warm is by consuming warm food or drinks. The easiest one to make is hot chocolate. This is one of the most favorite beverages all over the world during winter. You can easily find some chocolate powder at the market and make it for yourself and your family in the comfort of your home.

Besides those things, there is another thing you can do to make it through the winter. This one is making Russian winter funny jokes. This is the way of Russian survival in winter. So what are some of the Russians’ winter jokes we can share among us? Here are some of it.

Russian’s Winter Jokes

Laughing is the best medicine for people who are feeling blue. But, for Russians, laughing together at their winter jokes is also the way to survive the wintertime. Buckle up! Here are some of Russia’s funny winter jokes, the way of Russian survival in winter.

  • No Sun For A Month

Murmansk, a part of Russia’s northernmost regions, has a worse winter than the other parts of Russia. Why? The people there have to survive the polar night during winter and they will not see the sun for more than a month. This is where this joke comes from

Q: What does the police in Murmansk say to a suspect?

A: “where were you on the night of September to March?”

  • Winter Never Ends

When you are in Russia, you feel like wintertime is a very long time. This is what inspires this joke:

Throughout the winter, Russians are looking forward to spring to come. When spring is there, Russians are looking forward to winter to end.

A Chukotka (a very cold region in the Far East of Russia) guy buys a fridge. His friend is in shock seeing him buy a fridge.

Q: Why do you need a fridge? The weather is already cold enough!

A: I did not buy it for the food. I bought it for myself! It is only -4 C inside the fridge while it is -40 C outside. I can warm myself up inside the fridge!

  • The Freezing Weather

The freezing climate in Russia is the reason no enemy is coming.

What a shame! How come there is no foreign enemy who wants to invade Moscow? All of these magnificent frosts are going to waste!

There is also a joke on how to keep yourself healthy during winter.

It is winter. There is a corporate meeting in one of the Russians’ office. But, 95% of the employees are not coming. The boss says:

Q: Mr. Ivanov, could you please share a tip to keep yourself healthy during the cold weather?

A: It is very simple. I never go outside for a cigarette. I just secretly smoke on the stairs.

What Happens All Over The World During Winter

20 oC Greeks put on their sweaters

15 oC Hawaiian are turning on the heaters (do they have it?)

10 oC Americans shivers. Russians are planting cucumbers.

5 oC Russians drive with their car’s windows down

O oC water freezes in America while it thickens in Russia

-5 oC cars in French cannot function

-10 oC people are going on vacation to Australia

-20 oC cars in America cannot function. People in Alaska wear long sleeves.

– 40 oC cars in Sweeden cannot function. Russians are enjoying hot tubs

– 60 oC polar bears are moving to the south

– 70 oC hell freezes

– 80 oC lawyers put their hands inside their pockets

– 114 oC alcohol starts to freeze

– 273 oC Russians wear boots

– 295 oC Russians win the world championship.

Those are the Russian winter funny jokes. This is the way of Russian survival in winter we can learn to keep ourselves warm in the cold weather.

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